first. All right, take two. Welcome to the riff session, everybody. Sound out of dude. It's so weird. That was supposed to be a celebrate Jesus celebrate. Oh, I was gonna ask if there was some sort of Easter. So, well, okay, yeah, this life for God, he'd be just got out of the shower. Sorry. When she said you were still in the shower, I thought it was gonna be like at least a few minutes, but yeah, I thought we have, I thought we'd have a few minutes because I know that he takes long showers. Well, I was do you like your showers? Hot or are you trying to do the Scottish shower? No, I like to do cold. I like. Seventh level of hell. Yeah. I read somewhere. I was like, boil me like a lobster. That's mine. Well, so it's Easter week and I was there was no Kings protest. Are no Kings protest? Yeah. Sensational. Did you? That's great. It was a success like the last time. No Kings. Yeah, I was gonna say, did we eradicate that we've successfully eradicate our country of Kings? They have eliminated. They have kept the monarchy at bay with their protests. Even before their protests, that's how effective. That's it's so effective. It's retroactive. Just the threat of a no Kings protest is enough to keep Kings from rising up. I'm sure Trump was like, okay, maybe next year. I don't think so. I had my crown picked out and everything. Yeah, I don't think so. I think they're gonna be they're doing an important work. Those protesters. A very important work. Johan had a observation that when it comes to Easter reenactments, nobody reenacts the table flipping. Oh, that's for God. I think that's on Tuesday though. I forget that those are maybe tomorrow just celebrating by the flip at people's tables and just go. Yeah, what's happy holy Tuesday, everybody? Yeah, well, the table flip, they have a bunny too. Wow. Yeah, it's Charlie. He's make only one bunny. It's not their bunny. We're gonna kill like any pigs. You've reached the traditional slave of the bunny. Definitely eating of the Easter rabbit. No, the table flipping is the one thing that people who really don't care much for church, people who really don't like Christians, they're all about Jesus flipping tables. That's what they that's what they like. They don't realize that that had they a table, he would have flipped it. Yeah, nobody table flipping sounds impulsive, but when you realize he made a whip first, that's when it gets good. Yeah, there was some pretty meditation. He made it out of chords. I always wondered was it like, you know, was he just kind of spanking him with it? Or was he like just, you know, kind of like doing a towel snap thing? Or was he really like making some welps happen? Well, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think it was probably a real dangerous whip. Oh, no, no. Yeah, I think it would just, yeah, he's driving out there. Was he using his full arm on it? Or was he just kind of like, and just kind of popping it? He was in him. I think he was in a way. I think he was driving him along, but you know, the people that are all on board with him flipping tables never see themselves as the people owning the tables. They always, they always assume it's somebody else that Jesus is mad at. He never done. Oh, he would be mad at me. Yeah, I wouldn't have a table flipped. Because they don't, they don't see themselves behind a table, you know, for, you know, pro-immigration or anti-ice or no kings. I mean, they don't see, they don't see a table for no kings. But that's he would flip that bad boy. Anyway, if I know, I know Jesus. I was wondering, we had one here, but I think, I don't remember, you know, I need to look it up. I see how many people were our small town. I didn't see it. I didn't go down this time. I did last time. Last time I went down to the festivities to absorb it. And it was, you know, a bunch of people standing on the core, Alice Maul and dressed in various red, white and blue things, holding up sign, protesting, you know, a great number of things. And then they, then they went home. Do you remember what any of the signs said? I don't remember. Not really know. Also, when I don't remember anything other than just like no kings and, you know, and we're a free nation and all that sort of stuff, which I, you know, that part of it, I sort of agree with, I'm not a, I'm not a fan of tyranny myself. So if they want to stand up against tyranny, more power to them, if they do it, that means I don't have to. I can just leave it in their capable hands. Well, they're practiced at this point. So leave it to the experts. Throughout history, you know, people protesting tyranny has been highly effective against tyranny. You know, tyrants just can't be more like protesters. Yeah. They appear. Nothing shuts down a tyrant like the idea that they're unpopular with the people that they're oppressing. They, they will immediately stop. Oh, my bad. I didn't mean to be taking all your rights. I didn't know that was going to upset you so much. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't, I did not mean to cause you to suffer and to put you, put you underneath my boot. Sorry about that. You know, back to freedom. Yeah. There's a, there's a lot of, a lot of people, a lot of people that have been brought up to, to believe that whining will get them what they want. Cause it is. It's always gotten them what they want. You know, when they complain and they cry and line, then, you know, their parents would give in. You don't have to finish that. You can go outside. You don't have to do your homework, whatever, whatever it is that they're whining about. That whining has, has been effective. And so they grow up and they go, well, you know, what we're going to do? We're going to whine about Donald Trump because we don't like him. And then, how's it you get? Can you get to know? Man, I sure am glad. Otherwise, we wouldn't even, we wouldn't have just one king. We'd have like three or four. You know, you know, those living like a king, you, the bunny, wait, what's the name again? Charlie. Charlie, Charlie does it seem concerned about any. Charlie has, is getting all the attention that he could ever want. Oh, my children. Did you let him run out of the house or anything? He runs around this room and choose on my furniture. Oh, nice. Even though we give him apples and cabbage and all sorts of trees. We have so much. I want this painted wood. He's going to eat the Murphy bed. Hey, let's go to IKEA, Charlie. I'm going to take you to go to. That's the thing with pets though, isn't it? Doesn't that the whole, yeah, and not the whole pet thing? What? What? What? Doing all things? Well, just doing, doing, what you don't want them to do. You know what's great. We're going to show what you have with it for rabbit food. Full cheeks. Oh, full cheeks. That's cute. I can't believe you guys got the cheap, did the rest of it. I wonder bring them. Did you go? No, we didn't go and get specialty rabbit food for five days. That's also another way of saying you got to go to the bathroom. I got full cheeks. I got full cheeks. You could start that, but I don't think that's the thing yet. I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to take that. Marrow with it. Yeah, we got full cheeks. But rabbits are over. Rabbit's always poop. Bebe's too, don't they? Oh, yes. Like the little cocoa puffs. They don't have any cocoa puffs. It's about the right size. You know, no matter what you feed them, they poop those little balls, which is shocking to me. And they often eat them. Do they? What? There's like, what are they just checking? Make sure that's all waste. That's our discussion. Yeah, a couple of pellets. No wonder the pellets look like, what, what? What do the pellets look like? They're pretty big or like, they're food? It's like, yeah, the full cheeks. Stark. Look at them. Oh, you got a round one there. Because I was wondering, what's Teddy treats? There's like, like, little teddy bears. Well, for rabbits and guinea pigs. Are those gummies for rabbits or is that a 30-HC? Oh, really? Because, first of all, I don't know if I mentioned this before. We have the widest white girl dog ever. It's a micro mini Aussie dude. Oh, I hate it already. He's fully grown. He's like a, he's like a poodle and I don't know if you know, Australian shepherd. They're the Frisbee dogs. And so he's like a mix of that, which is funny to me that we're starting to pay extra for mixed breeds now. So when I was a kid, this is what made you have, you know, they just took a free puppy sign out for and I had their mix. Anyway. Mixed breeds, they used to call those moths, right? Yeah, he gets super stressed out. Well, now they're designer, right? Yeah, I guess. He gets super stressed out. Well, he gets super stressed out for anything. But mostly if we're leaving, he gets stressed out. And then also if we take him somewhere with us, he gets stressed out. So he's not happy either way. And we were walking around and I had him on a leash and he chewed through the leash. Oh, man. He's too little. Nile. Wow. He chewed through it. So amazingly, the two doors down out in the shopping center, there's a dog store and we bought him a new leash. But he's freaking out. The lady's like, you're going to need some of those and points to the CBD, or the CBD or CDB. CBB. Yeah, the gummies. So we give him like three. And it's only, he only need like one per 10 pounds of dog. And he's, he wasn't, I think he wasn't even 20 pounds yet. He enjoyed him though. He was still pretty tense, but he wasn't freaking out. So it's kind of weird. It did mellow him out those gummies. Yeah. So you drugged your dog? Heck yeah. Well, you know, it's a natural, right? All natural. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Everything's natural. But I got a picture of him. He was chilled out a little bit, but then he, you know, he was still pretty stressed. Then he chewed through a leash again. Yeah. But the leash is made of hemp. So we got high again though. We had a dog that would blink that we would, he would tear up dog toys that we, you know, we were doing a dog toy. With a rider or just doing that of anxiety. Well, it was, he would like get down into it and just, and just, you know, you know, people will try to open up plastic bags like a cheese bag or something, you know, that's what he would do with the toy he would get in and just nibble until he got it, start, and then he would rip it open. All the toys, he just destroyed them. But is that, do they feel a sense of accomplishment when they do that? Like, yeah. Maybe one of my old dogs has passed away since then. He would, if it was a squeaker, that was his thing. He would work on the squeaker and try to get to that. That was his, he would drown out. That's when he would, he goes, well, I guess, I don't know if it's his, like wolf instincts coming out because the one that didn't squeak anymore is like, well, I guess dead. I thought there was an animal in the animal. I got to get it. That's basically, I got it, I guess. What's the next thing I got on my agenda? Well, even toys of dim squeak, Blake would just, it was like his mission to destroy it. Well, then what he chew on weird things now, it's like a collider or a furniture, or like the rug. Just toys you would get him. Okay, that's one. Yeah. Pigs ears. Oh, yeah. That's always weird, been weird to me. The other one is sometimes I'll do a cow femur. You ever seen those to get your dog to chew on? Is that just for bigger dogs? You just get those for like Chihuahua's. We got an area. We got them one of those for Christmas, long those giant bones for Christmas. And really, yeah, he had it by midway through January. It was gone. That was raw hide. Right? A rolled white raw hide. What happens to it? Yes. Yeah. Does he just, do they just eat it? What happens to it? He just sits in the yard. Yeah, he does not. He's not as it until he Melody didn't like him because they got all slobbery. They were super wet. Yeah. Andrew used to come through and and yank it away from him. Blake would be sitting there chewing on an Andrew come through and just yank it away from him and then the dog would leave that in Andrew and Andrew and Blake would wrestle for the bone. Did Andrew chew on it a little bit? Just a, you know, actually, too. But Andrew was young when when we got Blake Blake and Andrew, we used to say that that Blake and Andrew were both puppies together. They would fight in a, um, you know, Blake never drew blood or anything, but they would absolutely wrestle and Blake would fight. It was really funny because I would, one of the rituals before bedtime is I would go in and I would wrestle with both Blake and Andrew, you know, on the floor and the bedroom and Blake would, if I started to attack Andrew, Blake would also attack Andrew. So it was like me and Blake would gang up on Andrew. The dog had absolutely no, you know, a lot of dogs will come at and protect the child, but Blake did not. Blake would would help me wrestle Andrew. He's like, I'm taking the big dog side. He was, he lived a good life and gave a lot back. He did. He was a good dog. The only, the only thing that was super annoying about that dog was that he would run away if the door was open or if it wasn't open, he would just monitor he would wait and just crouch down. He would just blast out that door and take off. And so we were, that was a, that was irritating because he would also like scoop past you. If you were trying to carry groceries and or something like that, he would squeeze past you and run down the stairs. What was his, what was his goal? I mean, when he went outside, what did he end up doing? He just wanted to run amok. And he would, so he would just take off and run. And he was stupid around the road. And so we were, you know, we thought for sure he was going to get killed on the road. And he was going to run out there and and die someday. But he didn't, he was, he lived to a ripe old age. Because it's like, it's like he didn't plan that far ahead. It was just like, he got outside and would go, well, what do we do now? He would just run, he would run around the neighborhood. And so we would see him. And if you go after him, then it was like a game to him. And so he would, he would run away from you if you tried to go after him. And so what we eventually figured out was if you ran from him, like he would, you'd see him a block and a half away. And he would see you and you'd just start running. And he would run after you. And so we would, we would run away from him. And he would chase us then. And then we would get him trapped in the garage or something like that. But yeah, then, and then when he got old, he still tried to run away. He would still get out and, and wasn't, he wouldn't run. But then he would not find his way back. He'd get lost. And so that was, that was when it got really bad when he got old because he couldn't see anymore. And he couldn't hear very well. So he would wander off and then just keep going. He would never, when he was younger, he would come back. But when he got old, he would just taut her off into the, you know, into the neighborhood. And then, see it and chase him. He'd be like, yeah, he'll be back. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. When he was younger, he would come back. But when he got old or, I mean, there was a couple of times when we had to go and pick him up at like the pound, like people would find him and they would turn him into animal control. So they're charged with that. Like a rewarding fee for how long he was there or no. Well, I think one of the times they, they didn't know, he had a collar on, but it didn't have like contact information on him. And so they'd like, gave him some shots. They gave him some inoculation because he'd warned sure if he had his shots. And they charged us for those, but it was a bit of a pain. But good dog. All right, so like, have you guys seen the slap fighting? Have you seen the contest where they do one slap at a time? Mm-hmm. I've also seen the slap dancing at October Fest. That's pretty fun. No, this is a different thing. It's, but a fight in simulates that it's a continuous thing, but you talk about the one at a time. Mm-hmm. It's like they have a whole new face fighting. They have professional slap fighting. And I know, yeah, they did seem like they were sponsors and things like they were name brands, but I didn't know what they were from. Well, they just, they remove all the boring parts of fighting, you know, and leave us with what we actually want to see. The action. Yeah, which is one man rearranging another man's face. That's the part that we want to see. It's kind of like mass car, but just the crashes. But it's the clips that I've seen take like five minutes when we get all wound up. You had to put it in their mouthpiece and they got to get chalk on there. Yeah, the chalk is going to be a big. They measure, you know, they measure their hand to the face, measure, okay, my arm, my arm is long enough to reach this person's face from this two foot. Do they have? I would use two foot table coaches. That's what I'm wondering. Yeah, you know, for years, fighting has been this bloated affair with footwork and defense strategy. Yeah. They got rid of all of that. The rotating tendency for your opponent to avoid getting hit, you know, it slows everything down. Let them let them, you know, yeah, dodge and blocking stuff. Don't worry. Boxing allows you to actually avoid damage. Slep fighting gets rid of all of that. You know, there's no dodging. There's no blocking. It's just two adult taking turns playing Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Oscars. Taking turns. Yeah. Yeah. It's like boxing, but with T-ball rules for your face. Yeah. But they don't let you close your fist, though. No, that would be unfair. That would be that would be unfair. And so my question, Luke, was do they train? You trained for that? And if they do, why? Because there's no technique. You got to build up the cheek muscles to take it. Is that what it is? Yeah, you just probably is. Because all that's going to do is so well, there's no technique that's going to make a slap comfortable. You know, you're never going to hear the announcer say, well, he really softened that impact with those excellent fundamentals. Yeah, the rules actually forbid the one skill that training would produce, which is moving out of the body. Not allowed to do that. So it's a sport where the best display of skill is suppressing survival instincts. The other thing is like it's the worst. Like if you tried to slap someone like that in real life, they'd be able to move pretty easily. Well, yeah, especially if you're winding up. Yeah. Hey, what's going on? What are you doing with that? What's what's that? Oh, you're trying to slap me? I mean, just lean back. Just lean back. Yeah. I mean, it only took you five tries to measure up here. I feel like you could combine sports here. I think arm wrestling plus slap fighting together. So you've got the wrestling and the slapping. Oh, you combine. Yeah, you're right. Like that. You could just slap each other at the same time. I was wondering how to arm wrestling. What if a guy like that's the only way he learned how to fight. And he's got really mad at somebody and goes, oh, what's your stuff? Is there a handlebar here I can hold on to? I like, smacked the daylight. It's like, take my my chalk. Every hand wide on like trigger him to want to slap. There wouldn't be any advantage to practicing or rehearsing. I wouldn't think. I think the I think the best training regime would be avoid being slapped in the face until game day. How do you win? Is it is it style points or is it like do you have to, is it whoever quits or gets knocked out? Yeah, well, they have some where they just can't continue. And so, and that's. Is there a judge's score at the end if they just keep going? They do have judges and then they're and you're not allowed to club. You're not allowed to make a fist. And what's gotta be open hand? How can you okay? I guess I guess that's the only thing they're looking for, right? And then they do that to be former professional slap fighters or they can just I feel like anybody can go that was a fist. We're gonna call on error on that. That's a warning. Well, that's what I know. They didn't give them warnings. They do get a warning, but it's done. The fist is done because you have a false you make an illegal strike. And so, and then you still hit them, right? I mean, it's not like they are. Okay. Taking that one back. Don't do that again. Sorry. Yeah. That is bad for them. Can you get this phone? I forgot to open my hand. I'm sorry. I forgot to drop the brick. I was carried out. It's bad technique. I forgot to put down my lunch box before I hit him in the face. Okay. Redo. Redo. We'll do it again. Give me a hand. Yeah, one more time. Give me a do over. I'm mulligan. What? I feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm already at competition level for that. I feel like I'm like if I had to in a clutch situation, I could not dodge a slap without without any training. I would say just get up there and slap them. And if you don't knock the guy out, you're forfeit. He's like, okay, I'm out. I'll just keep going until we gotta go. Can we do this? Is there a featherweight division? I'm sure that one. I'm thinking about how much the slapping would hurt you with your hand after a while. Like really? That would be worst of on their on their first day of slap fighting. I'm like, oh my god. Nobody told me about this part. I've got to build up a chialis. I've got to go. I got to try this. Dig while I'm start slapping fence posts just to build up there. Get some splinters. Their palms. I'm gonna say like you got like rocky. Remember how rocky you used to train in the meat? The cuss. Yeah, punch them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, then they're slapping cows or something. Are you allowed to grow a big bushy beard? Oh, so you're talking about like really bad and well shops and just padded out. Yeah. I was thinking just get really, really fat. That way you have all this cheat. Yeah. They got to get through before they get to your jaw. That's fair. But you're just saying they're getting lost in the and the jungle of your face. It just feels like you've got some cushion. I wonder what other sports this would paint the way for. Like football, we're not allowed to run with a ball. The office office just stand there. Yeah. With like, you can play billiards and there's just one big hole in the middle, I guess. One big hole in the middle. Yeah. The table you take a solid. Right. There's not a lot of... I just... Yeah. I've watched it. It's fascinating to me. But I can't imagine how they would... At some point, if I was really, really good at it, I don't think I would tell people. I don't think I would want people to know that I allow other people to smack me in the face. Really hard. As a competition. Would you just say yes? A mixed martial art then? It's like martial arts, but it's only like, you know, a 1% of a martial art. Right. You have to strive to not defend. I'm sure it's true. People do this sport. Like, what are you selling them on? Like, this is going to open so many doors for you. The worst you can see are... The worst. I feel like there's a thing that all happens in biker bars when they're really bored. They've started in a biker bar. You're right. It's the slapping part of it, though, that doesn't really... I can understand if it was punching, you know, or if it was knife-fighting or something, but slapping is just not... It's kind of a sissy thing to do, right? When you slap somebody, that's like humiliating. That is how women fight. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I don't like it break their nails. Like, we want to... We want it to be as close to fighting as possible, but not really. And we don't want people to do real damage, like with a punch. We want them to... We want it to mostly be an insult. Notice it's mostly a humiliation. I wonder if you really wanted a challenge. You could do the old school, uh, and take off a white glove, smack him with it. Is that... I mean, in that one last, I don't know, days that a match would last a long time before anybody. Is there a halftime? Like, could they get to go and ice the bear on their breaks? I'll see. You're asking me questions that I... I didn't do a tone of research. You just watched it a little bit. Mm-hmm. I've just seen some videos, and I know a few of the rules. All right, so, uh, I'll ask Chad J.P.T. I'll slap fighting. Tell me the rules of slap fighting. There you go. And, uh, what is slap fighting? To combat with two competitors, take turns slapping each other across the face. That's a big thing. The goal is to knock out your opponent or win by points, do you want? Well, points. How do you score points? Well, uh, uh, fighters take turns slapping, no dodginger, blocking. Yep. The receiving fighter must stand still and take the hit. Yeah. Leave a strike area. Open hands slaps only. No punching. Must land on the opponent's cheek below the eye above the jawline. No hitting in the ear, throat, or back of the head. Both feet must be planted. Fighters usually stand across the table with podium. Struck them must keep at least one foot grounded when delivering one foot, when delivering the slap. Mm-hmm. Common violations. Flinching. Or moving before impact. Clubbing, hitting with the palm, heel, or fingers instead of a flat slap. Stepping or lifting feet during the strike, hitting illegal areas. Penalties can include warnings, point deductions, or just qualifications. If no knockout then the judges score based on cleanliness of the strike, damage, reaction of opponent. What? What kind of damage? How do you know? What do they have a power meter or something? Oh, how do you know how much damage you take? Do they measure the redness of the welt or... Let's see. So the judges are going out of 10. There's a lot of damage. I would boil my cheek so that it would sleep damage. Yeah, I would definitely judging by my high fives, I would always miss. Oh, there's not like just brushing their lips. That's why they do all the little practice swings. I would still... I would miss something up. There's kind of like brush-passer lips. Like, oh, I need chips. You're going to be surprised by this. There is no sensor or machine that measures damage in slap. What? Judged visually and behaviorally. Basically, what just happened to that guy? That gets how many points though. Is it out of 10? Is there a scale or something? Or they just like make it up? That's a billion points. They look for immediate... That slap is a pain. They look for physical effects and immediate reactions. The Sony's guys' faces are just like swollen up. Oh, is that after? Are you getting the after effect? Yeah. Do they stumble? Do they stumble? Do they balance? Do they need help staying upright? Do they go unconscious? Uh... Hmm. A slap that makes someone wobble equals more damage than one that just makes a loud sound. All right. So, now I'm going to ask the question... Just like crowd reactions. Why? When... Why? Do this. You know how you do stuff on the playground and if everybody was like, Oh, then that person was the... Whatever, the winner of that insult and or even if it was dumb. I don't know. Let's see if... Let's see if ChatGPT can give a justification for this. On the surface, it looks insane. But the researchers aren't that different from other high risk sports. They show up in more obvious ways. Prize money, sponsor ships, social media exposure, sponsorships. So what kind of a roundabout way they're saying all sports are insane? Me, they are. They didn't really give a good... They didn't really give a good reason why it was better. They just said it looks insane, but you know what, they have sponsors. Yeah, it says compared to sports like boxing, there's no footwork, no combos, no doing... You don't need years of training to participate. Oh, yeah. What's the... how much they make? And the undercard beginner fighters, slappers, they make between 500 and 2000. And then your standard contract fighters is around 2000. And then your main event champions is 20 to 25,000. 25,000 dollars are going to slap in the face to win. Not just to get slapped in the face. That's a little bit different though. Because those guys, I don't know, here's the thing. I always noticed when we would go to certain states and shake hands with people, some of those in general, the men, I could not close my hand around there. I know it was like, I want to say Ohio was almost always the state where it was like, every guy that shook my hand, I was like, I could not... I could grip their hand because I couldn't get my hand around their hand. I noticed that during the meet and greet time at church. Or it's like, my goodness, some of these, some of these palms are thick. I felt like a kid. I was like a little... Yeah, whose sponsor's a slap fighter? You guys want to talk about one of them was like blockchain. The most common workout brands, protein powders, energy drinks. Oh yeah, that's right. Also Ram Dodge truck. Fighting here. Dodge would be an interesting sponsor since you're not allowed to. Okay, roofing companies, car dealerships, HVAC services. Tattoo shops. You know what's missing? What was that last shop? White glove manufacturers. Do not sponsor. Tattoo shops. I mean, skin care, you know, or some kind of lotion. That's what I was thinking. Like aspirin, ibuprofen. It is swelling. It told me that that was one of the channels that they watched on TV during idiocracy. I'd be like, yeah, that's probably about right. Oh, this is a slap fighter? Yeah. I mean, it's already on my balls. So their mind is well-be. How my face or how my cheek. Oh my god, I can't think of anything else to talk about. It's a slap fighting. I don't... Let me ask you this. How well do you think that would go over in a crowd? The slap fighting thing? Have you tried that? Or is that freshly ripped? That's brand new. I haven't tried it. I guess it's going to kind of depend on how how renowned the slap fighting phenomenon is. If people know what it is. Yeah, if people know about it. I mean, if you take... If you take into effect the guy who wins gets $25,000 and then you... And then you think about boxers and they get like, you know, $10 million for a losing. Mm-hmm. That's definitely a difference in popularity, I would think. Well, yeah, you get $25,000 and then... And you need $30,000 worth of facial reconstructed surgery. I don't know if I could handle... How do I know if I could handle my wife slapping me? If I just let her have a rip at it, it would hurt for a long time. Wait, you get disqualified for... I would say performance enhancing drugs would be like Nova Cane. Oh, if you just got like local anesthetic for... That would be hard. They could tell unless the guy was like... His face is all smooth. He's not like Zyder. They're like, no, no, I've got Bell's palsy. I can't. That's how dare you. You're a... Bell's just calling me against him. Yeah, that'd be a blessing. Well, can they even feel it, right? Anyway. I'm saying, I wanted the guy to inject himself with the... Nova Cane. Anyway, it worked for my tooth extraction. I can tell you that they pulled that sucker out. I even feel it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't think it would be legal in slapping, but... Maybe they check. Maybe they have like a pre-match. Yeah, pins or something, were they? Does Nova Cane show up in your urine? I think you did a p-test. I don't know. How about chat GPT, no? And that's Nova Cane show up in urine. Chat GPT. Yes, it can show up. But not the way most people think. Which... What was... How would I think? How's it different than what I think? Well, that's the way chat GPT talks. Yeah, it doesn't show up in urine. Yes, but not the way people think. Like, in urine? Yeah. It says the chemical... Yeah, chemical... It says mostly is betabolites. It shows up as byproducts and not as Nova Cane itself. So... It won't trigger a standard drug test. So you... So I think you're on to something, you want to do? I think you could shoot your face up with Nova Cane, go and dominate a slap fight, pocket the money. Nova Cane won't stop your brain from bouncing around in your skull. Yes, I... That's true. Which is why people hit the mat because they have a concussion. Some of those dudes are so big and they take a full swing and just paste the other guy in the face. And there would have to be weight classes and stuff because like a guy like me going up against one of those 280 guys, he would fling me out of the room. He would smack me out of my shoes. It'll be like Charlie Brown could hit by the pitch. Oh my clothes would fly off. All the effort that you go through and you get $25,000, which still isn't anything to sneeze at, but... I don't know. Well, if you won. Yeah, but if the fight was in California and you're only coming home with 10... Well, you could win... You know, you win four slap fights and that's a hotter ground. It's not bad for four days work. I guess you're right. But then, yeah, you spit you go home, you put your money in the bank, you spend three weeks waiting for the swelling to go down. There are less... Normal life. Let's dignified ways of earning money, so... I'll allow it. You're right, there are less dignified. But there are... Smacking. They're not stealing. They're getting slapped in public for money. It's not a crime. You are aware of the sports mascots, right? I'll accept that. They don't really know you, right? I guess that's a... That would be fun to watch. Like the... mascots slap each other in the face? Yes. They bounce off a trampoline and meet mid-air, sort of like a joust, and they slap the daylights out of each other. I have told you that. That's a weakness of mine. I know it's cheap, but when mascots fight each other, or like you're in... We went and saw a Texas Rangers game. So every baseball team has a thing. The Braves, Home Depot is a Georgia thing. So there's a little race, and there's three people dressed up. One guy is like a drill, another one is a hammer. I figure what the third guy is. Hammer screwdriver. It was like a screwdriver. And no run, and they'll run along the outfield fence. Let's go through the race, and you have to pick and do it. Whoever picks it, they pick a fan and the fan picks. And if they get it, they get like a gift card or something. Well, the Texas Rangers game... It was Sam Houston. It was all the guys that he was with the Alamos. The Sam Houston, Davey Crocket. Give me one more. What's another one? Another guy that died of the Alamos. Davey Crocket. I said Davey Crocket. Who else died of the Alamos? David Bowie. Oh yeah, Jim Bowie. Jim Bowie. Jim Bowie. David Bowie. Not David Bowie. He died a considerable amount of years later. David Bowie was not at the Alamos. It's Sam Houston, Davey Crocket, Jim Bowie. They all like, it's guys with like giant hoods. And just the ridiculousness of like them cheating for one thing. They're right in the race, and then they'll try to shove each other but then the giant heads... Somebody falls down. Their heads bouncing off the ground. I'm so cheap, but I'm like, okay, it says... I can't help it. It's just funnily. This is Apex Entertainment. It doesn't get better. It though. Like those NFL games where, you know, those mascots will play each other and tackle. Just a full body tackle. One mascot to another. It's just hilarious. I can't. I can't even explain why it's funny. I can't even tell you it's just ridiculous, I guess. But... No, it's funny for the same reason. It's funny for the same reason that hundreds of beavers is funny. I totally forgot to watch that. What? I still haven't watched it yet. The night is young. The night is young, John. You have... You do have to make the first 15 minutes though. Well, it's... Why I have to tough it out? Is it gross? No, no. It just... It's going. Okay. Well, you know, you got to have a set up. Two punchlines. Set-ups never fun. You got to... I feel like... It's got a certain vibe and pace and everything that you got to get used to. And then once you're in it, you're in it. Your kids liked it, right? They had some... Really? A couple of questionable scenes that were unfortunate. Otherwise, it's pretty dang funny. It's not a kid show. But if you like mascots, John. That's good grief. I think he would like mascots hurt. All right. I'm gonna mask off your... Yeah. Maskot has... It's so dumb. It's such a dumb movie. But... I enjoyed it. And uh... I'm not even a mascot fan. I per se. Even a fan of mascots. You're... So you're anti-maskot? I'm not anti-maskot. I just don't know that. I'm not an aficionado like you. I wouldn't say I'm a aficionado as much as I have this innate weakness for it. It's kind of like uh... Leo de Capriot in 25-year-old models. I mean, it's just a... I mean, it's just a... It's just a... It's just... It's just... It's a tract. Well, the mask... It's not a tract at the same way. The mascots are... I mean, there's a whole community now. The furries are kind of like... Kind of the mascots, right? I don't... I don't know. There's... Where... Where did you see it? I think they are. They dress up like... Like animals. Oh, that's a... That's a totally different community. Civil... Well, the... Why end results the same though, right? I don't... When you can't tell a... You can't tell a furry from a mascot, except for the jersey. I mean, I think... I don't think... You said the end results, because the furries have a totally different... goal in mind than... uh, let's say, Gritty from the Phillies. Yeah. That guy just wants to make the kids laugh. The mascot? A furry convention has a totally different ending. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. It's difficult to tell them apart, except for the environment in which you find them. Did I ever tell you this is the height of a vina... mascot humor? I was gonna tell you something that I wrote down, but this is... I gotta tell you the story, because it's gone here. We were... For some dumb reason, we were all watching some early CSI stuff. This is before there was CSI in New York, and CSI Los Angeles, CSI Las Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI... CSI Atlanta. Is it the Atlanta one? CSI. CSI Mayberry, CSI. Right. CSI Provo. Right. CSI Sacramento. CSI... CSI Branson. There's a fellow... A fellow is headed to his furry convention. Well, he... It seems that he was mid... You know, he was already dressed up, and it was... But he had... He had encountered a flat tire. So he had to go out of his car to change his flat tire. And a car came by and hit him. So he was... I forgot to mention he was also dressed like a raccoon. So... And there was... There was bad... On top of that... That neat tool. There was bad... There was bad green screen effects, and so the way he flew at the camera, and he's fully dressed like a raccoon in the car hit him. Just the levels of irony and... and... and uh... just awkwardness of it. I could not pull myself together. I always fell out. I was cry laughing, for sure. Probably the hardest I've had to go on to. But a guy dressed as a raccoon, getting hit by a car. I don't... You can't write comedy. This is a serious crime show. This is the... It was not meant to be... They didn't... Where they didn't shoot it like it was... Because that was another layer. It was super serious. It was like in law and order when somebody, you know, gets shot. It's supposed to be like, Oh my gosh. So it was super serious. Literally roadkill. Dressed as an animal known for being roadkill. Right. And yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of layers to that. There's a lot of... Good handling. Good handling. There's a lot happening. So he went out to change the tire in full raccoon. Yeah, that's another layer. Yeah, that's another layer. I was like, I don't understand. I've spent my life, not my life, but every time I'd bring it up, I try to search for it. I mean, I'm sure you see if I can find it. So I had a 2000. It's worth it. How did you look it up? Yeah. So Luke found it. Yeah, it's apparently a classic CSI fur and loathing. That's what it... Episode's called. Fur and loathing instead of fear and loathing. So it's a... A whole episode is tongue and cheek. Well, it's kind of like one of those things where they're like, they have to be professional. And they're still like, well, these people are weird. Which was weird. Yeah, but the fact that, I guess it was 2003. So it was like 22 years ago, but it stuck with half fur. I guess furries are considered normal by a lot of standards. Oh, they're just regular people like us. They're no different from you and me. They just want to dress up. They just think they're... There's a review of it on Reddit in the R furry community. And I would... The furries... Overall, the episode is pretty unrealistic. It was part of that review. So... Unrealistic. Right. This coming from a furry. The furries are outraged because it's not realistic. They are misrepresented in that. So one thing they're not doing is they're not showing me the actual... The clip. The actual clip. It's all like just stuff from this show, but it's nothing anyway. Right. That's what you want. You want to just see the impact again. Yeah. Oh, there's one scene that's death by raccoon, but... That's different. By raccoon. They keep going to that raccoon well for... Raccoon. Yeah, they're... Oh. A raccoon in the hand of a... The right person is a deadly weapon. Wait, it has to be in your hands? Well, some people can... Yeah. Some people can. How does... What are behind their ear? Wealed a raccoon, lethally. Why? Drop that raccoon. I think we need a permit. I said, no. I see. You need a permit. Do you need a permit for the raccoon? A background check. You probably do. You probably have it to own a raccoon. You probably do need a permit. To use it as a weapon, probably not. Can anyone really own a raccoon? Sure. They have a mind of their own, all right? They kind of do their own thing. Yeah. Is there anything more that doesn't have a mind of it, though? Most of them. Goldfish, I guess. Most of them don't have a mind of their own. They just have an instant. I'm thinking about stuff. A dog doesn't really wander. It kind of just follows you, right? Especially if you get a younger dog. Older dogs, it kind of just, they're just tired. But a younger dog will get up and follow you in the next room. My dog loves to follow you into a room. And then when you leave and the door closes behind you, he gets stuck in there. He doesn't think fast enough to go. Oh, I can get out of here. I need to get out of here. Because I'm not going to be able to, since I can't work a door knob. Yeah. I don't know. So where's that bunny, Luke? Is he still hanging out there? He's still there. He's moved. He's just chewing on some cabbage. All right. Is that a normal rabbit thing or is that a treat? Or is that like... It's a rabbit cabbage. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because I know the teddies are a treat, but I don't know if they're cabbage or the treat. I thought you had a... I did. Rabbit. I had a rabbit named Clarence. And my sister had a rabbit named Clio. And we were young and my parents... It was like Christmas morning and my parents brought them in and they were adorable and soft. And Clarence began jumping around the room, urinating, flinging urine everywhere. And then I was the nerve. Or if that was a normal thing for them to mark territory or what, but it was kind of gross. Well, was he trying to... How shall I say attractively? Because it was for sure a boy and a girl. A boy and a girl. And so that happened. And then as my sister Megan was holding and petting Clio, she bit her very hard on the nipple. And so there was crying and urine. Blood and blood on the Christmas day. Yeah. Yeah, we sang it. So was at the end of Clio and... No, no. They both had a pretty good life. We moved with them. We built them an outdoor cage and they got the hop around and be protected. Did Clio bite your sister again or just that one incident? I don't remember. But that was the one that was seared into my mind. Because that's pretty sensitive area to get chomped. Yeah, especially by a little rodent incisors. Well, when did they make... You know, because I know the danger is making more bunnies. No, no, they had their separate pins. Get them separate. And then what? What? I guess the appeal is just they're furry and they're soft. And then you can just watch them hop around. Yeah, that's kind of... I also had a guinea pig. That's it. And it was a very similar experience of like, okay, it's soft and it scurries. But that's about it. His name is Garfumble. Okay, that was the name of the ass. It was Clarence's name first or Clio. And then remember, I still like the name Clarence for a rabbit sauce. Clarence is a good name for a lot of things. What was the name of the rabbit and the Jimmy Stewart movie? Trying to think of that just now I can't. Oh, was it Clarence? No, it's uh... Oh, you're a bastard. What can I think of it? What can I think of it? I think of it. It's uh... It's Harvey. Harvey? Not Harvey. Harvey. Yes. Harvey. I knew it started with an age. I could think of what was Henry. The I weirdly enough, I never saw it. You haven't seen that name? You never saw Harvey? Well, I have it. It's time that when you come up for the CCA, maybe I can learn it. You have it. I have it. Watch on it. You know how much I have to watch. We've got to watch thousands of babies. You've got to watch Godfather. Kung-pow. Not seen Godfather. Godfather. You're as an Italian kid. You're required. That's required watching. You haven't seen Kung-pow? Is that the one? Right. Why haven't I seen this yet? It seems like I should have seen it already. Mm-hmm. Okay. And uh... We've got to go down our list. Whatever... What's the list of movies that you that people have to see? Do you think we're going to open that can of worms right now? Oh, I hadn't even thought about that. I don't think Lucas can eat great nuts to me. I apparently were going to push that to the next one. Sorry, but... I'm not sure. Tune in next time. Toot in next time. But... Toots of perfect damage. Have you eaten them at all? No. Because it's still... I don't know if I'm okay. Like never before? Never before. If you... I may have had them on top of yogurt. At one point, thinking it was granola. And I didn't know it, but I've never intentionally ate grape nuts. If you wait until next week, I'll go get a box. No, I have a box. You know what I'm saying? If you're waiting until next podcast, I'll go get a box of food. So have you had them? I've had them, but like I told John, it was like... All I did was... I ate it like regular cereal. I didn't know you waited on it. So I always just poured in there and eat it and go, it's just super crunchy. I also want a can of sardines, because I've never had those before either. But I'm dreading that. We do have sardines. Well now, you did the strung convoctal... I didn't eat this, right? I didn't go near it. You were sitting... I'm just sitting as close as I could get without vomit. Then pickled herring fermented herring? But that to me, what got me off the curiosity train was those people who actually eat it and they'd love it. They still won't open it in their house. They'll be like, no, this is the outside food. Who says that? What have you eaten? You're like, no, we take this outside. I like it, but no. Right. People that allow their animals inside won't allow that fermented herring. They're food. That's poop in a box. Right. That stays inside. They have a box of cat feces in their house, but they won't allow that food. Can anybody say it off top of their head? The name? No. Strishimer herring. Strishimer herring. I know this. Strishmer herring. Strishmer herring. Yeah. It's Scandinavian, you know? You know, different word for. Strouse of... And we still got one can of it down there and it's all... It's all... Puffy. It's like it's... Oh, it's like... I like that it gets expanding. And I feel like it's puffyer than it was 10 years ago. Or whenever. It's probably gonna explode some night and make a huge sound and blow that rotten fish all over the... You need to eat it before it goes bad. We need to eat it before it goes bad. Yeah. Well, we should all eat grape notes next week. Oh, okay. Well, it's just grape notes. It'll be a nice little uh... We'll talk over grape notes. The thing is how long... What's the... How long do you wait? Because you say you wait on it, right? I don't. I always just... Right to crunch it. I just... I just crunch it right down here. But you guys can wait if you want. I mean, it's exciting that it's gonna taste like extra crunched graham cracker. Is that wrong? I thought for sure you said it. Maybe I'm gaslighted myself. I'm not for sure you said you wait until it turns into mush and so this is just big. I'm saying if you don't want it to expand in your state, if you want to see how big it's going to be in your stomach, I can wait for it to absorb the milk. But I don't personally like it when it's all mushy. I mean, it's better when it's crunchy. But you might be a different person than me. You, in fact, you are a different person than me. You want? I do like crunching cereal, except there is a limit. Like, capped in crunch is too crunchy. Well, this is more crunchy than captain crunch. So you might want to wait a few minutes for it to absorb some milk and get a little gill softer. Okay. We'll do that next week. We'll do the grape nuts thing, which means we'll have to post some video. Oh, some video. I'll make sure it gets my makeup done. Yeah, we'll get some makeup. All right, goodbye everybody.